There are exactly 181 stitches that hold a leather baseball intact. There are also 181 beads in a Catholic rosary.
Perennial American League doormats, the Tampa Bay Rays, are in first place midway through the baseball season and have the best record in baseball.
Until this year, they were known as the Tampa Ray Devil Rays.
Amen.
05 July, 2008
04 July, 2008
Say Whatever You Want, It's Free
There are 27 amendments to the United States Constitution, however 2-27 would be vacant script without number 1.
Freedom of religion, speech, press, petition and assembly is the backbone of our our constitution. Without it, this rag I type from Rushmore would've been shut down by a government agency long ago.
I'm so very grateful to live in a country that is free to share conflicting ideas.
Happy Independence Day.
Freedom of religion, speech, press, petition and assembly is the backbone of our our constitution. Without it, this rag I type from Rushmore would've been shut down by a government agency long ago.
I'm so very grateful to live in a country that is free to share conflicting ideas.
Happy Independence Day.
03 July, 2008
Obama Won't Pound It Anymore
Barack Obama has done away with the "fist pound" gesture, after diligent Fox News anchor, E.D. Hill, outed Obama as a terrorist threat to the United States.
Apparently, the fist pound is a greeting that is common with Hezbollah terrorists so, naturally, Barack Obama's fist pound to his wife, Michelle, at a St. Paul rally last month was nothing more that Obama shoving his terrorist ties in our face.
According to recent polls taken since Fox scooped the Obama is a terrorist story, nearly half of our electorate has fallen for Obama, terrorist and all.
It's been about a month since Hill exposed Obama as a Hezbollah sympathizer, and since then I've noticed an alarming amount of terrorist activity that has infiltrated our great land.
Last night the Tampa Bay Rays defeated the Boston Red Sox to complete a three game sweep and now have a 3 1/2 game lead in the American League East. When the game ended, I noticed Ray players smiling and congratulating each other with fist pounds.
The Tampa Bay Rays are terrorists. Wolf Blitzer, prepare the Situation Room.
A few weeks ago I visited a local turboplex to see the movie, The Love Guru. To no surprise, leave it to liberal Hollywood to shove their Hezbollah, terrorist sympathizing right down our throats. In the movie, there is a running gag where Guru Pitka (Mike Myers) "pounds it" with Toronto Maple Leaf Head Coach Punch Cherkov (Internet porn sensation Verne Troyer), mocking us with his terrorist affiliation by ritually reciting, "pound it, lock it down, break the pickle, tickle, tickle, tickle".
The scripted words alone simply can't do this example justice. The accompanied theatrics intended to brainwash us into Hezbollah sympathizers is obvious.
To punctuate our domestic terrorist presence, I regret to report that my daughter appears to be a terrorist. After scoring a goal in a soccer game last season, I recall her issuing a fist pound to a teammate.
I'll ground her for a week and take away her cell phone. Family values intact.
Fox News; they distort, we decide.
Sometimes in ridiculously comical ways.
Apparently, the fist pound is a greeting that is common with Hezbollah terrorists so, naturally, Barack Obama's fist pound to his wife, Michelle, at a St. Paul rally last month was nothing more that Obama shoving his terrorist ties in our face.
According to recent polls taken since Fox scooped the Obama is a terrorist story, nearly half of our electorate has fallen for Obama, terrorist and all.
It's been about a month since Hill exposed Obama as a Hezbollah sympathizer, and since then I've noticed an alarming amount of terrorist activity that has infiltrated our great land.
Last night the Tampa Bay Rays defeated the Boston Red Sox to complete a three game sweep and now have a 3 1/2 game lead in the American League East. When the game ended, I noticed Ray players smiling and congratulating each other with fist pounds.
The Tampa Bay Rays are terrorists. Wolf Blitzer, prepare the Situation Room.
A few weeks ago I visited a local turboplex to see the movie, The Love Guru. To no surprise, leave it to liberal Hollywood to shove their Hezbollah, terrorist sympathizing right down our throats. In the movie, there is a running gag where Guru Pitka (Mike Myers) "pounds it" with Toronto Maple Leaf Head Coach Punch Cherkov (Internet porn sensation Verne Troyer), mocking us with his terrorist affiliation by ritually reciting, "pound it, lock it down, break the pickle, tickle, tickle, tickle".
The scripted words alone simply can't do this example justice. The accompanied theatrics intended to brainwash us into Hezbollah sympathizers is obvious.
To punctuate our domestic terrorist presence, I regret to report that my daughter appears to be a terrorist. After scoring a goal in a soccer game last season, I recall her issuing a fist pound to a teammate.
I'll ground her for a week and take away her cell phone. Family values intact.
Fox News; they distort, we decide.
Sometimes in ridiculously comical ways.
02 July, 2008
Hall Of Fame Legacy Sealed For Barry Bonds*
The baseball that Barry Bonds hit career home run number 756 has arrived in Cooperstown, and Bonds' steroid fueled skid mark on the game is now secured with an asterisk.
*
Clothing Designer, Mark Ecko, paid $752,467 as high bidder for the infamous ball at an auction last August. Ecko then allowed baseball fans the opportunity to choose the fate as to where the ball would ultimately end up.
As expected, the fans called it right.
*
Ecko had the ball branded with an asterisk and it was delivered to the Hall of Fame earlier this week. It will be included in a yet to be determined display.
*
Bonds has said in the past that he would boycott the Hall of Fame if they accepted the record breaking baseball with an asterisk on it.
*
We're approaching the all-star break in baseball and not one team has shown the slightest bit of interest in signing Bonds.
*
Looks like baseball is finally boycotting Bonds.
*
Now let's hope that Hall of Fame voting sportswriters boycott Bonds as well, keeping Bonds the cheating, grand jury perjurer man out of Cooperstown.
*
Clothing Designer, Mark Ecko, paid $752,467 as high bidder for the infamous ball at an auction last August. Ecko then allowed baseball fans the opportunity to choose the fate as to where the ball would ultimately end up.
As expected, the fans called it right.
*
Ecko had the ball branded with an asterisk and it was delivered to the Hall of Fame earlier this week. It will be included in a yet to be determined display.
*
Bonds has said in the past that he would boycott the Hall of Fame if they accepted the record breaking baseball with an asterisk on it.
*
We're approaching the all-star break in baseball and not one team has shown the slightest bit of interest in signing Bonds.
*
Looks like baseball is finally boycotting Bonds.
*
Now let's hope that Hall of Fame voting sportswriters boycott Bonds as well, keeping Bonds the cheating, grand jury perjurer man out of Cooperstown.
01 July, 2008
What A Doll
One of the first life lessons Mom instilled in me, when I was a wee-little Davey Jones mop-top, was that I shouldn't pass judgement on people until I had a chance to get to know them. You know, the basic "don't judge a book by its cover" rap.
But what if the cover is so hauntingly disturbing that I simply can't open the book?
America, meet Cindy McCain.
Cindy Lou Hensley McCain, aspiring First Lady of the United States of America, drug addict (recovering), absent minded bookeeper (still looking for those misplaced Charles Keating private jet receipts?) and heir to a whole lotta beer money. She now goes by simply Cindy McCain, which is probably a smart move politically. Lou Hensley sounds like the name of a guy that would sell me a purple car at night and assure me it was navy blue.
Cindy Lou who?
There is a certain Stepford creepiness about Cindy McCain. Her egregious addiction to eyeliner and heavily spackled makeup appear to render her face inanimate. Or, more likely, she just needs her batteries changed.
If you look real closely at her forehead, there very well may be an inscription that reads, manufactured using 10% post-consumer recycled plastic.
It's as if Ken and Barbie had a special child and they named her Cindy. Mattel, feel free to take that idea and run with it.
Cindy met John McCain at a military social event in 1979 in Hawaii, while McCain was visiting on a work assignment as a U.S. Navy liaison officer. McCain's wife at the time, Carol, didn't attend that event.
John McCain, war hero, patriot, political maverick and adulterous philanderer (the liberal media leaves out that last attribute), began dating Cindy shortly after their initial meeting, spawning a long distance romance between McCain's Washington D.C. home and Cindy's native Arizona.
John and Carol McCain divorced in April of 1980. One month later, John and Cindy McCain were married at the Arizona Biltmore Resort in Phoenix.
Not quite the JFK meets Jackie O type of fairy tale model that we'd like to see in our first couples, I know.
More like, John and The Real Doll. Coming to a campaign stop near you.
Now that's straight talk, folks.
But what if the cover is so hauntingly disturbing that I simply can't open the book?
America, meet Cindy McCain.
Cindy Lou Hensley McCain, aspiring First Lady of the United States of America, drug addict (recovering), absent minded bookeeper (still looking for those misplaced Charles Keating private jet receipts?) and heir to a whole lotta beer money. She now goes by simply Cindy McCain, which is probably a smart move politically. Lou Hensley sounds like the name of a guy that would sell me a purple car at night and assure me it was navy blue.
Cindy Lou who?
There is a certain Stepford creepiness about Cindy McCain. Her egregious addiction to eyeliner and heavily spackled makeup appear to render her face inanimate. Or, more likely, she just needs her batteries changed.
If you look real closely at her forehead, there very well may be an inscription that reads, manufactured using 10% post-consumer recycled plastic.
It's as if Ken and Barbie had a special child and they named her Cindy. Mattel, feel free to take that idea and run with it.
Cindy met John McCain at a military social event in 1979 in Hawaii, while McCain was visiting on a work assignment as a U.S. Navy liaison officer. McCain's wife at the time, Carol, didn't attend that event.
John McCain, war hero, patriot, political maverick and adulterous philanderer (the liberal media leaves out that last attribute), began dating Cindy shortly after their initial meeting, spawning a long distance romance between McCain's Washington D.C. home and Cindy's native Arizona.
John and Carol McCain divorced in April of 1980. One month later, John and Cindy McCain were married at the Arizona Biltmore Resort in Phoenix.
Not quite the JFK meets Jackie O type of fairy tale model that we'd like to see in our first couples, I know.
More like, John and The Real Doll. Coming to a campaign stop near you.
Now that's straight talk, folks.
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