The Major League Baseball trading deadline concluded with a frenzied array of activity, unprecedented in terms of the talent level swapped between teams.
Three future Hall of Famers were dealt during the twenty-four hour run up to today's 3:00PM EDT trading deadline. Manny Ramirez, Ken Griffey, Jr. and Ivan Rodriquez got the call to pack their bags and mozy on.
ESPN and sports radio was alive with chatter about these developments, with baseball soothsayers prognosticating which teams came out on top in various trade dealings.
One important development was not reported though. Manny Ramirez was traded to the National League and therefore is not eligible to play any more this season for Kinsler's List.
Kinsler's List is the name of my fantasy baseball team and Manny was my number one draft pick this season. It's an American League only league, so when players are shipped off to toil their wares in the Senior Circuit, we're held to the mercy of the player that our chosen player was traded for.
The deal that sent Manny to the Dodgers is a bit complicated to explain because it involves a few teams. My bottom line is that I end up with Pirates (now Red Sox) outfielder Jason Bay.
Not many people outside of Pittsburgh and the Bay family know much about Jason Bay, so consequently I'm feeling a little hosed.
If Bay lights it up for the remainder of this season and gets me into contention for the league title, I may have to change the name of my team.
I already have Scott Rolen as my third baseman.
How about Bay City Rolen's?
31 July, 2008
30 July, 2008
It's A Dead Heat In The Electoral College
After taking a closer look at recent voter polls, I've given Colorado to Senator John McCain and we now have a hypothetical tie.
Fischer Chronicles now predicts McCain and Senator Barack Obama will each earn 269 electoral votes.
It takes 270 electoral votes to be elected President of the United States.
Fischer Chronicles now predicts McCain and Senator Barack Obama will each earn 269 electoral votes.
It takes 270 electoral votes to be elected President of the United States.
29 July, 2008
Breck Girl Appears To Have A Penis
Former North Carolina Senator and 2004 Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate John Edwards may have been right about his populist campaign message.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,391426,00.html
There really is two America's.
Edwards appears to live in an America where you can have a cancer stricken wife at home in North Carolina, and another America where you can enjoy the fruits of a blond campaign (former) worker in a Beverly Hills Hotel.
Politicians and integrity; a growing dichotomy.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,391426,00.html
28 July, 2008
Dishonorable Hack Ad From An Honorable Man
The gloves are off and now it's officially time for the electorate to guzzle some collective Pepto Bismol, in order for us to stomach the home stretch of this seemingly endless Presidential Campaign.<------- McCain Hugs His BFF
Senator John McCain unleashed a blatantly distorted attack ad against his rival yesterday, which appears to be an early grasp at desperation.
http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/26/new-mccain-ads-attack-obamas-canceled-troop-visit/
The McCain ad didn't let facts impede on truthiness; the 30-second spot claims that Senator Obama failed to visit wounded troops in Germany - as previously scheduled - because the hospital there wouldn't allow his cameras inside the building.
Then the Obama campaign delivered the only realy gaffe I can determine. Obama used the time in the agenda change to workout at the gym and play basketball.
The commercials voice-over narrates footage of Obama playing basketball in a gymnasium packed with US soldiers.
The film was shot by Armed Forces Television during an official State Department Congressional Delegation visit in Kuwait.
The simple fact is that Obama didn't visit the troops in the German hospital because the delegation had ended, and consequently that portion of his trip was funded by his campaign.
My gut tells me that Obama would have been equally ridiculed had he gone to the German hospital, with charges that he was exploiting our soldiers for campaign gain.
Clarity.
I'm Max Fischer and I approve this message.
27 July, 2008
The Um's, Err's And Ahh's Of Barack Obama
Senator Barack Obama was Tom Brokaw's guest for the full hour of Meet The Press earlier today.
I was equally disappointed and inspired by what I heard.
I've noticed recently that when Senator Obama is left to fend for his rhetoric extemporaneously, he appears to frequently be at a loss for words. To emphasize, he often spits out a mixed bag of "ahh's, umm's and err's" while he attempts to reset his mental teleprompter.
Definitely something to watch for as we head into the Presidential debates.
I was equally disappointed and inspired by what I heard.
I've noticed recently that when Senator Obama is left to fend for his rhetoric extemporaneously, he appears to frequently be at a loss for words. To emphasize, he often spits out a mixed bag of "ahh's, umm's and err's" while he attempts to reset his mental teleprompter.
Definitely something to watch for as we head into the Presidential debates.
26 July, 2008
Like A Rolling Kidney Stone
Mick Jagger is 65 years old today.In an industry where expedited mortality is an accepted byproduct in exchange for fame, Mick and the Stones have bucked the odds.
And they are showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon after signing a long term record deal this past week with Epic Records.
Like time standing still, the lovely lads from London endure.
The New York Dolls are now the Two York Dolls and the Replacements became the Threeplacements many years ago. Rock stars are fleeting, shooting stars. They come, they destroy, fade off and die long before they should.
This is what makes Mick Jagger the quintessential bad-ass that he is.
Happy birthday, Sir Mick.
25 July, 2008
Six Degrees Of Adolf Hitler
I had to laugh at the commentary of Fox and Friends co-host Steve Doocy - better known as Steve Douchey - when he reported that the speech delivered by Senator Barack Obama in Germany took place at the famed Monument Square.Douchey noted that this landmark has been linked to Adolf Hitler.
Gulp.
Newsflash, Douchey. When in Germany, it's all linked to Adolph Hitler.
To punctuate the ridiculousness of Douchey's assertion, it's worth noting that the Volkswagen Beetle was the conceptual brainchild of Adolf Hitler.
Douchey logic would suggest that any of us that have ever owned a Volkswagen, or even been a passenger in one, insinuates Nazi sympathizing.
Good grief.
24 July, 2008
25 Sticky Summers Ago
Today marks the 25th anniversary of the George Brett "pine tar incident", an event that even the most sedentary follower of our nations pastime can probably recollect.If you don't recall; pause here, go to YouTube and type George Brett pine tar in the search que.
One bit of baseball lore that many aren't aware of is how the obscure rule of egregiously layered bat pine tar came to be. For Minnesota Twins fans, this little yarn will come as no shock at all.
In 1957, the owner of the Washington Senators, Calvin Griffith, petitioned the President of the American League, Lee MacPhail, to enact a new rule that would limit the application of pine tar on a baseball bat to within eighteen inches from the tip of the bats handle. Griffith complained that his team was going through too many baseballs, due in large part to pine tar erosion.
Griffith moved the Senators to Minnesota prior to the 1960 season and renamed the franchise the Twins.
He continued his penny pinching ways until selling the club in 1984 to Carl Pohlad. Since the Twins won their first World Series in 1987, they have remained one of baseballs best teams and are considered a model for winning as a small market club.
Calvin Griffith died in 1999, leaving his colorful baseball legend behind.
23 July, 2008
Dear John Letter From The Media
With all of the right wing belly achin' over Senator Barack Obama's rock star celebrity tour of the Middle East, irony has not been entirely lost.
Isn't John McCain the Republican that the conservative media has accused of being a media darling for so many years?
Looks as though the media broke up with McCain at a bad time.
"That Obama, he's so hot right now", is what Mugatu (Will Ferrell, Zoolander) would likely say.
Next thing you know, Barack Obama will drop his first name and simply go by Obama.
We'll still have plenty of media remaining to remind us that his middle name is Hussein.
Isn't John McCain the Republican that the conservative media has accused of being a media darling for so many years?
Looks as though the media broke up with McCain at a bad time.
"That Obama, he's so hot right now", is what Mugatu (Will Ferrell, Zoolander) would likely say.
Next thing you know, Barack Obama will drop his first name and simply go by Obama.
We'll still have plenty of media remaining to remind us that his middle name is Hussein.
22 July, 2008
Golden Kiwi; Best Fruit You've Never Heard Of
I recently endured the indignity of a colonoscopy - fancy word for being date raped by a Gastroenterologist - and was advised to increase my daily dietetic fiber intake by eating more grains, vegetables and fruits.
Easier said than done for me, being the medium rare, bone-in-ribeye guy during the past several years.
Ever the diligent patient, I hit the grocery store produce section to have a look see. What I found, amidst the usual array of apples and berries, was a scrumptious little lump of tastiness called the Golden Kiwi.
And they are luscious.
The Golden Kiwi is a sweet and juicy kiwi that entered the U.S. produce market in 1999 from New Zealand. Created through natural plant breeding, it has a smooth skin that is void of the brown, fuzzy hair of the traditional kiwi.
The only downfall of the Golden Kiwi is its fleeting season, which runs just shy of our three summer months of June through August.
As a suggestion for eating - or in my case, murdering - a Golden Kiwi, rinse with cold water, trim the top and bottom stem portions and consume it whole, skin and all.
Enjoy.
Easier said than done for me, being the medium rare, bone-in-ribeye guy during the past several years.
Ever the diligent patient, I hit the grocery store produce section to have a look see. What I found, amidst the usual array of apples and berries, was a scrumptious little lump of tastiness called the Golden Kiwi.
And they are luscious.
The Golden Kiwi is a sweet and juicy kiwi that entered the U.S. produce market in 1999 from New Zealand. Created through natural plant breeding, it has a smooth skin that is void of the brown, fuzzy hair of the traditional kiwi.
The only downfall of the Golden Kiwi is its fleeting season, which runs just shy of our three summer months of June through August.
As a suggestion for eating - or in my case, murdering - a Golden Kiwi, rinse with cold water, trim the top and bottom stem portions and consume it whole, skin and all.
Enjoy.
21 July, 2008
The Quizzical Geography Of John McCain
Arizona Senator John McCain is continually being advertised as an experienced foreign relations saber tooth and expert on world affairs, in particular the Mid-East.
With that, it appears that these days all you need is a Junior High geography aptitude to be considered an expert.
In an interview the other night, McCain expressed concern over securing the Afghanistan, Pakistan border. There's one small problem.
The "border" between Pakistan and Afghanistan is pretty large.
It's a country called Iran. Perhaps you've heard of it.
Sadly, this isn't the first gaffe McCain has made.
He's confused Somalia with Sudan (both in Africa, so we'll give him a mulligan on that one) and mistaken the Sunnis for the Shiites in Iraq, which is unforgivable for McCain, the Iraq "surge protector".
Some McCain errors are even too tasty for Fox News to ignore. At a recent town hall style meeting in New Mexico, McCain made reference to the country Czechoslovakia. Actually, he was repeating the same gaffe he made in Phoenix a few days prior.
The former Czechoslovakia, as you know, is now two countries. Slovakia and the Czech Republic.
McCain may just be nostalgic for the good 'ol days of the Cold War.
About thirty years ago, McCain may have mistaken his wife Carol for a young woman named Cindy that he met on a Hawaiian beach.
We hear much about John McCain and his high moral character, world experience and sound judgement.
We're also still waiting to witness it.
With that, it appears that these days all you need is a Junior High geography aptitude to be considered an expert.
In an interview the other night, McCain expressed concern over securing the Afghanistan, Pakistan border. There's one small problem.
The "border" between Pakistan and Afghanistan is pretty large.
It's a country called Iran. Perhaps you've heard of it.
Sadly, this isn't the first gaffe McCain has made.
He's confused Somalia with Sudan (both in Africa, so we'll give him a mulligan on that one) and mistaken the Sunnis for the Shiites in Iraq, which is unforgivable for McCain, the Iraq "surge protector".
Some McCain errors are even too tasty for Fox News to ignore. At a recent town hall style meeting in New Mexico, McCain made reference to the country Czechoslovakia. Actually, he was repeating the same gaffe he made in Phoenix a few days prior.
The former Czechoslovakia, as you know, is now two countries. Slovakia and the Czech Republic.
McCain may just be nostalgic for the good 'ol days of the Cold War.
About thirty years ago, McCain may have mistaken his wife Carol for a young woman named Cindy that he met on a Hawaiian beach.
We hear much about John McCain and his high moral character, world experience and sound judgement.
We're also still waiting to witness it.
20 July, 2008
Whoopi (Cushion) Farts The N-Word
Such a sight to see Whoopi Goldberg and Elizabeth Hasselback duke it out on The View the other day, over what Whoopi suggested is the African American rhetorical trademark of the N-word.
During the exchange, Hasselback, ever the precious, was reduced to tears while Goldberg barfed her examples of accepted N-word usage and context, complete with a healthy dose of predictable Whoopi condescension.
Whoopi is the absolute queen of prefacing comments with a patronizing, "well you don't understand".
None of us get it. Only Whoopi knows.
Well, ironically, I really don't understand.
I don't understand because the context for which this debate began was a discussion over Jesse Jackson getting popped for referring to Senator Obama with the derogatory N-word term before an interview with Fox News.
Not to worry, Senator Obama, according to some on The View panel, that word is considered a term of "endearment" in the black community. No harm, no foul.
Or, it's all good from hypocrisy to the 'hood.
A few years ago I recall Jesse Jackson being a catalyst in a growing movement to eliminate the use of the N-word. In fact, there was an actual funeral procession in which the word was "buried".
According to Whoopi, the word is alive and well after being "taken" from the perpetrators using it against African Americans for so many years.
Yipee. Whoopified poetic justice.
Look, I understand Whoopi's point. She only thinks we don't understand. I studied American History in high school and am fully aware of our nations shame stained record with African Americans. It's inexcusable that basic, equal rights didn't exist until monumental civil rights legislation passed and became law in 1964.
With this in mind, the time has come to stop making excuses and spewing lame rational over who's allowed to use the word.
Let's make the N-word the End-Word.
For one and for all.
During the exchange, Hasselback, ever the precious, was reduced to tears while Goldberg barfed her examples of accepted N-word usage and context, complete with a healthy dose of predictable Whoopi condescension.
Whoopi is the absolute queen of prefacing comments with a patronizing, "well you don't understand".
None of us get it. Only Whoopi knows.
Well, ironically, I really don't understand.
I don't understand because the context for which this debate began was a discussion over Jesse Jackson getting popped for referring to Senator Obama with the derogatory N-word term before an interview with Fox News.
Not to worry, Senator Obama, according to some on The View panel, that word is considered a term of "endearment" in the black community. No harm, no foul.
Or, it's all good from hypocrisy to the 'hood.
A few years ago I recall Jesse Jackson being a catalyst in a growing movement to eliminate the use of the N-word. In fact, there was an actual funeral procession in which the word was "buried".
According to Whoopi, the word is alive and well after being "taken" from the perpetrators using it against African Americans for so many years.
Yipee. Whoopified poetic justice.
Look, I understand Whoopi's point. She only thinks we don't understand. I studied American History in high school and am fully aware of our nations shame stained record with African Americans. It's inexcusable that basic, equal rights didn't exist until monumental civil rights legislation passed and became law in 1964.
With this in mind, the time has come to stop making excuses and spewing lame rational over who's allowed to use the word.
Let's make the N-word the End-Word.
For one and for all.
19 July, 2008
Fischer Chronicles His Vice President Picks
Handicapping the field for VP picks for both parties has run the gamut of speculation in the media, so it's high time that Max (that's me referring to myself in the third person) weighs in with his picks.
The Fischer call for the 'pubs is Florida Governor, Charlie Crist. Senator John McCain desperately needs to win the Florida electoral vote and Crist is an extremely popular political figure in that state. In addition, the high Jewish electorate in Florida may turn out in huge favor of McCain, since Senator Obama has been portrayed in the conservative media as a Palestinian sympathizer, based on Obama's comments that he would hold discussions with both Israel and the Palestinians if he were elected President.
The wild card for McCain will be former Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney. Look for Romney to be the pick if McCain runs short of cash. Romney has the ability to raise funds quickly through his Mormon followers and is considered strong on economic issues.
One indication that Romney may get the nod will be to keep an eye out for young, blond men on bicycles riding through your neighborhood a little more aggressively than usual.
Then we have the turbo wild card of Arkansas Governor, Mike Huckabee. Choosing the ah-shucks-golly-gee Huckabee would signify nothing more than a woeful pandering of the ever shrinking - albeit loud - religious right, formerly known as the Republican "base".
The Dems' choice is a bit tougher to call, however I feel fairly confident that Senator Obama will call on Virginia Governor, Tim Kaine. Kaine is a moderate Democrat that has established himself as an executive level leader in a state that has continued to show increased Democrat leanings during the past few election cycles. With his "high and tight" crew cut, however, reminiscent of the loathsome high school gym teacher that would make you run the mile during an asthma attack, Kaine may need to soften his look to appeal to a broader base. If so, he can always consult John Edwards.
The Obama wild card could be Delaware Senator, Joe Biden. Biden has been a perennial Presidential candidate since 1988 and comes with experience and clout as a long time leader in Senate foreign relations. Unfortunately, Biden has never met a camera he hasn't looked into or a microphone he hasn't made sweet love to. He's so full of verbose hot air that he makes John Kerry look introverted by comparison. In addition, choosing Biden would bog down the campaign on a daily basis, as the opposition would scrutinize his Senate voting record dating back nearly three decades.
And now we get to the gazillion pound elephant, Senator Hillary Clinton. This "unity" ticket is nothing more than a MoveOnDotOrg bumper sticker. I just can't see it happening.
Get ready, get set.
We're in the home stretch, folks.
The Fischer call for the 'pubs is Florida Governor, Charlie Crist. Senator John McCain desperately needs to win the Florida electoral vote and Crist is an extremely popular political figure in that state. In addition, the high Jewish electorate in Florida may turn out in huge favor of McCain, since Senator Obama has been portrayed in the conservative media as a Palestinian sympathizer, based on Obama's comments that he would hold discussions with both Israel and the Palestinians if he were elected President.
The wild card for McCain will be former Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney. Look for Romney to be the pick if McCain runs short of cash. Romney has the ability to raise funds quickly through his Mormon followers and is considered strong on economic issues.
One indication that Romney may get the nod will be to keep an eye out for young, blond men on bicycles riding through your neighborhood a little more aggressively than usual.
Then we have the turbo wild card of Arkansas Governor, Mike Huckabee. Choosing the ah-shucks-golly-gee Huckabee would signify nothing more than a woeful pandering of the ever shrinking - albeit loud - religious right, formerly known as the Republican "base".
The Dems' choice is a bit tougher to call, however I feel fairly confident that Senator Obama will call on Virginia Governor, Tim Kaine. Kaine is a moderate Democrat that has established himself as an executive level leader in a state that has continued to show increased Democrat leanings during the past few election cycles. With his "high and tight" crew cut, however, reminiscent of the loathsome high school gym teacher that would make you run the mile during an asthma attack, Kaine may need to soften his look to appeal to a broader base. If so, he can always consult John Edwards.
The Obama wild card could be Delaware Senator, Joe Biden. Biden has been a perennial Presidential candidate since 1988 and comes with experience and clout as a long time leader in Senate foreign relations. Unfortunately, Biden has never met a camera he hasn't looked into or a microphone he hasn't made sweet love to. He's so full of verbose hot air that he makes John Kerry look introverted by comparison. In addition, choosing Biden would bog down the campaign on a daily basis, as the opposition would scrutinize his Senate voting record dating back nearly three decades.
And now we get to the gazillion pound elephant, Senator Hillary Clinton. This "unity" ticket is nothing more than a MoveOnDotOrg bumper sticker. I just can't see it happening.
Get ready, get set.
We're in the home stretch, folks.
18 July, 2008
Humorist At Law; The American Dream Up Close
I'm back in the saddle after my week long company sales meeting in Cleveland. Thankfully, I was upgraded to the front cabin on my flight home to Phoenix, which is flight attendant speak for first class, as to not upset the common folk in coach.
I was looking forward to a quiet flight. The agenda included a warm meal, movie, nap and no less than three enlarged prostate induced trips to the bathroom.
What I wasn't expecting was meeting the passenger seated next to me, Sean Carter, and the inspiring story he shared with me.
Carter is a former corporate law attorney that left the tedious arena of litigation to pursue his interest in stand-up comedy. His company, Lawpsided Seminars ( http://www.lawhumorist.com/ ), offers a unique and mildly irreverent take on his profession through public speaking performances at law group meetings across the country.
Finally, lawyers are climbing aboard the lawyer joke bandwagon that the rest of us have been coasting on for years.
We often hear debate and discussion about the meaning of The American Dream. To me, Sean Carter is living embodiment of that dream.
Sean Carter attended Harvard Law School (my safety school choice, by the way) and was earning a healthy living as a practicing lawyer. Then, according to Carter, one day he had what you might call a spiritual awakening, or higher level of realization.
Carter was miserable in his job. Not miserable in performance, mind you, but rather miserable in a sense that he was simply going through the motions each day.
Familiar feeling, folks?
Sean Carter took action. He took an intellectually honest, personal inventory of what he needed to fully enjoy his career life and then implemented an action plan to get there.
Carter parlayed his passion for comedy and public speaking and is now making a living at it. To me, The American Dream means taking a risk by finding a niche and moving forward undeterred, with passion and full vigor. Sean Carter, with a wife and four children included, took that risk and is living this dream.
The irony for me is that I met Sean on the heels of me spending four days with the entire sales force of the company I work with, in which the core objective was team building and corporate synergy. After one week, my greatest inspiration came from hearing the story of Sean Carter on my flight home.
I wonder if Carter bills his clients laughter in six minute increments.
I was looking forward to a quiet flight. The agenda included a warm meal, movie, nap and no less than three enlarged prostate induced trips to the bathroom.
What I wasn't expecting was meeting the passenger seated next to me, Sean Carter, and the inspiring story he shared with me.
Carter is a former corporate law attorney that left the tedious arena of litigation to pursue his interest in stand-up comedy. His company, Lawpsided Seminars ( http://www.lawhumorist.com/ ), offers a unique and mildly irreverent take on his profession through public speaking performances at law group meetings across the country.
Finally, lawyers are climbing aboard the lawyer joke bandwagon that the rest of us have been coasting on for years.
We often hear debate and discussion about the meaning of The American Dream. To me, Sean Carter is living embodiment of that dream.
Sean Carter attended Harvard Law School (my safety school choice, by the way) and was earning a healthy living as a practicing lawyer. Then, according to Carter, one day he had what you might call a spiritual awakening, or higher level of realization.
Carter was miserable in his job. Not miserable in performance, mind you, but rather miserable in a sense that he was simply going through the motions each day.
Familiar feeling, folks?
Sean Carter took action. He took an intellectually honest, personal inventory of what he needed to fully enjoy his career life and then implemented an action plan to get there.
Carter parlayed his passion for comedy and public speaking and is now making a living at it. To me, The American Dream means taking a risk by finding a niche and moving forward undeterred, with passion and full vigor. Sean Carter, with a wife and four children included, took that risk and is living this dream.
The irony for me is that I met Sean on the heels of me spending four days with the entire sales force of the company I work with, in which the core objective was team building and corporate synergy. After one week, my greatest inspiration came from hearing the story of Sean Carter on my flight home.
I wonder if Carter bills his clients laughter in six minute increments.
17 July, 2008
16 July, 2008
Optimistic Denial
According to nearly two thirds of economists surveyed in a recent USA Today poll, the United States economy is currently in recession.
President Bush, Optimist In Chief, disagrees.
By his own admission, the President is not an economist. However, he gave a speech yesterday about the economy and insisted that we are not in a recession. How does he know?
He's an optimist.
During the course of the past year, blue chip stocks are down 22%, wholesale prices have increased 10% (inflation), the USD is down 14% and home foreclosures are up 54%.
I'm pretty optimistic that I believe what economists are talking about.
I'm even more optimistic that once the supply-side, deficit spending, foreign nation currency borrowing President Bush leaves office, we'll begin to claw our way out of this hole.
Without all the delusions.
President Bush, Optimist In Chief, disagrees.
By his own admission, the President is not an economist. However, he gave a speech yesterday about the economy and insisted that we are not in a recession. How does he know?
He's an optimist.
During the course of the past year, blue chip stocks are down 22%, wholesale prices have increased 10% (inflation), the USD is down 14% and home foreclosures are up 54%.
I'm pretty optimistic that I believe what economists are talking about.
I'm even more optimistic that once the supply-side, deficit spending, foreign nation currency borrowing President Bush leaves office, we'll begin to claw our way out of this hole.
Without all the delusions.
15 July, 2008
26% Of American Voters Confuse Christian Faith With Muslim
With all of the controversy surrounding The New Yorker magazine cover cartoon of Barack and Michelle Obama being portrayed as terrorists, let's not lose sight of why the magazine chose to lampoon the Obama's in this matter.
In a recent Newsweek poll, 26% of voters think that Barack Obama was raised Muslim. In addition, 12% believe that Obama is currently a practicing Muslim.
There is simply no evidence that Barack Obama has ever practiced any faith beyond Christian.
The conservative media continues to extend every effort to perpetuate this complete lack of cognitive reasoning.
Letting the facts distort the truth would be bad for ratings.
In a recent Newsweek poll, 26% of voters think that Barack Obama was raised Muslim. In addition, 12% believe that Obama is currently a practicing Muslim.
There is simply no evidence that Barack Obama has ever practiced any faith beyond Christian.
The conservative media continues to extend every effort to perpetuate this complete lack of cognitive reasoning.
Letting the facts distort the truth would be bad for ratings.
14 July, 2008
All Star Break
We're at the halfway mark of this years baseball season, and the Tampa Bay Rays are beginning to fade. In fact, they may have succumb to the Fischer curse, since they've lost seven consecutive games after I bliggity-blogged about them last week.
Keep the faith, Rays. Plenty of ball to be played.
My Twins are hanging tight in the AL Central, boasting a league best record since the beginning of June. Twins Skipper, Ron Gardenhire, has got to be the most underrated Manager in recent memory. At least since former Twins Manager, Tom Kelly (World Series titles in 1987 and 1991).
I'm off to Cleveland today for an all company team building retreat and group hug. Hopefully I'll have time to visit the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame while I'm there this week.
After all; it's only rock n' roll, and I like it, I like it.
Yes I do.
Keep the faith, Rays. Plenty of ball to be played.
My Twins are hanging tight in the AL Central, boasting a league best record since the beginning of June. Twins Skipper, Ron Gardenhire, has got to be the most underrated Manager in recent memory. At least since former Twins Manager, Tom Kelly (World Series titles in 1987 and 1991).
I'm off to Cleveland today for an all company team building retreat and group hug. Hopefully I'll have time to visit the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame while I'm there this week.
After all; it's only rock n' roll, and I like it, I like it.
Yes I do.
13 July, 2008
Vacant Rhetoric Of A Do Nothing Congress
Democrats ushered in the 110th Congress shortly after the 2006 mid-term elections with a promise of sweeping changes and an end to the Iraq war.
Since then, our Democrat majority has handed President Bush nearly 350-million-dollars to fund the war, troop surges and all.
This bit of musing and curiosity has nothing to do with the validity, or lack thereof, of the war.
It's more of a commentary about the ease of getting elected with a clever bumper sticker. The real work is in the Beltway trenches.
And this is where our current Congress is failing us.
Since then, our Democrat majority has handed President Bush nearly 350-million-dollars to fund the war, troop surges and all.
This bit of musing and curiosity has nothing to do with the validity, or lack thereof, of the war.
It's more of a commentary about the ease of getting elected with a clever bumper sticker. The real work is in the Beltway trenches.
And this is where our current Congress is failing us.
12 July, 2008
Tony Snow Remembered
So sad to hear the news that conservative commentator and former Bush (43) White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow, has died.
Snow was a throw-back conservative that was a steward to the now long abandoned Republican principles of limited government and preservation of individual liberty.
An amiable and folksy gentlemen, reminiscent - to me, at least - of President Reagan, Snow was the kind of guy that you would disagree with entirely and even if he told you to go to hell (which he would not), you'd still walk away from the conversation feeling good.
Such a shame that we lose Tony Snow and Tim Russert in such quick succession, and at such a young age.
It just doesn't seem fair.
Especially when DICK Cheney's pacemaker keeps on ticking.
Snow was a throw-back conservative that was a steward to the now long abandoned Republican principles of limited government and preservation of individual liberty.
An amiable and folksy gentlemen, reminiscent - to me, at least - of President Reagan, Snow was the kind of guy that you would disagree with entirely and even if he told you to go to hell (which he would not), you'd still walk away from the conversation feeling good.
Such a shame that we lose Tony Snow and Tim Russert in such quick succession, and at such a young age.
It just doesn't seem fair.
Especially when DICK Cheney's pacemaker keeps on ticking.
11 July, 2008
Stop Your Whining
Recently I was explaining to my thirteen-year-old daughter the urgency of our nations current economic recession. For a visual aid to explain the devaluation of the United States Dollar, as compared to global currency, I showed her a fifty dollar bill and told her that ten years ago it was worth one hundred dollars.
Brilliant. Or so I thought.
As it turns out, I was just being cynical. I'm just one cry baby in a country full of whiners.
Former Texas Senator and John McCain Presidential campaign economic advisor, Phil Gramm, said in an interview last week that the real problem is you, me and the rest of the negative projecting American saps.
It's all about attitude, folks. Stop complaining about the price of gas.
Is the tank half empty, or half full?
Brilliant. Or so I thought.
As it turns out, I was just being cynical. I'm just one cry baby in a country full of whiners.
Former Texas Senator and John McCain Presidential campaign economic advisor, Phil Gramm, said in an interview last week that the real problem is you, me and the rest of the negative projecting American saps.
It's all about attitude, folks. Stop complaining about the price of gas.
Is the tank half empty, or half full?
10 July, 2008
Father Apologizes For Having Normal Family
Illinois Senator Barack Obama allowed Access Hollywood to interview him and his family during an Independence Day family barbecue last week in Montana.
Access Hollywood is a hard driving, in your face news program that's known for its direct questioning and thorough research. When compared to Larry King Live, that is.
It was a light, fluffy and preciously cute give and take. The two Obama girls were sweet and respectfully precocious, just as we'd expect to see from two entirely normal girls.
It was a very real campaign moment that struck a pretty cool looking, "First Family" pose.
Then the wheels came off.
Obama faced backlash from the opposition that claims he was exploiting the very family that he had previously said should be left alone. So he ran in full damage control to the Today Show for a morning hug from Matt Lauer, to confess that the interview was a "mistake".
The Today Show interview with Lauer was the mistake. When Obama and his family were on Access Hollywood, it was the least calculated that Obama has been since he first pulled up his Iowa bootstraps to interview for the job of President.
I hope we see more of that. It's all beginning to seem too contrived.
Access Hollywood is a hard driving, in your face news program that's known for its direct questioning and thorough research. When compared to Larry King Live, that is.
It was a light, fluffy and preciously cute give and take. The two Obama girls were sweet and respectfully precocious, just as we'd expect to see from two entirely normal girls.
It was a very real campaign moment that struck a pretty cool looking, "First Family" pose.
Then the wheels came off.
Obama faced backlash from the opposition that claims he was exploiting the very family that he had previously said should be left alone. So he ran in full damage control to the Today Show for a morning hug from Matt Lauer, to confess that the interview was a "mistake".
The Today Show interview with Lauer was the mistake. When Obama and his family were on Access Hollywood, it was the least calculated that Obama has been since he first pulled up his Iowa bootstraps to interview for the job of President.
I hope we see more of that. It's all beginning to seem too contrived.
09 July, 2008
The Profit Of Hate
Jesse Jackson dusted himself off long enough to open his big front door and show his true race baiting colors again.
Apparently Senator Barack Obama isn't black enough for Jesse Jackson.
Well, looky hare!
Good grief.
It's clearly evident to me that individuals like Jackson, Al Sharpton, James Dobson and Pat Robertson (and many in between) would be out of work and approaching financial destitute, if racial and religious discourse subsided and we all just - in the words of the great urban philosopher, Rodney King - all just got along.
Hate is a very profitable industry.
Check your integrity at the door.
Apparently Senator Barack Obama isn't black enough for Jesse Jackson.
Well, looky hare!
Good grief.
It's clearly evident to me that individuals like Jackson, Al Sharpton, James Dobson and Pat Robertson (and many in between) would be out of work and approaching financial destitute, if racial and religious discourse subsided and we all just - in the words of the great urban philosopher, Rodney King - all just got along.
Hate is a very profitable industry.
Check your integrity at the door.
08 July, 2008
Senator McTruant
Arizona Senator and presumptive Republican Presidential nominee, John McCain, has been skipping school during the 110th Congress at a rate that would get him expelled from most public schools in the United States.
Even with our woefully watered down school standards, that's tough to do.
McCain has missed 61% of Senate votes, dating back to January 2007. Illinois Senator Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic Presidential nominee, doesn't fare much better, missing 42% of Senate votes.
Rule number one when you're networking for a new job is that you don't skirt the responsibilities of your current gig.
McCain and Obama didn't even show up for work at, or better, than half the time.
Ridiculous.
The irony is that we hear so much noise from hate radio about Obama missing votes, while McCain appears to be getting a free pass.
In McCain's defense though, at his age he's probably in the buffet line for dinner at 3:45, just before his afternoon shuffleboard game. Bingo night is each Wednesday, so his schedule is even tighter on that day.
If the media is going to call out Obama for missing votes, than we have a reasonable expectation to expect the same treatment for John McCain.
Even with our woefully watered down school standards, that's tough to do.
McCain has missed 61% of Senate votes, dating back to January 2007. Illinois Senator Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic Presidential nominee, doesn't fare much better, missing 42% of Senate votes.
Rule number one when you're networking for a new job is that you don't skirt the responsibilities of your current gig.
McCain and Obama didn't even show up for work at, or better, than half the time.
Ridiculous.
The irony is that we hear so much noise from hate radio about Obama missing votes, while McCain appears to be getting a free pass.
In McCain's defense though, at his age he's probably in the buffet line for dinner at 3:45, just before his afternoon shuffleboard game. Bingo night is each Wednesday, so his schedule is even tighter on that day.
If the media is going to call out Obama for missing votes, than we have a reasonable expectation to expect the same treatment for John McCain.
07 July, 2008
Complete Dick
You know I really prefer the old school, more subservient role of the office of Vice President of the United States. The job description was pretty simple; get sworn in, assume office and wait for the President to die.
DICK Cheney would be so much more tolerable if that were the case.
Cheney's latest suppression of possible truth is to order an edited deletion of nearly six pages of professional testimony from the head of the CDC on climate change that was heard on the Senate Floor last October.
I'm not leaning to either side of this ever polarizing debate on the extent of human cause of climate change.
What I'm suggesting is that DICK Cheney should let the debate rage on with full testimonial disclosure, and not simply delete matters the administration doesn't agree with.
This whole DICK Cheney swimming upstream in the river denial is getting a bit tired, albeit entirely predictable.
DICK Cheney would be so much more tolerable if that were the case.
Cheney's latest suppression of possible truth is to order an edited deletion of nearly six pages of professional testimony from the head of the CDC on climate change that was heard on the Senate Floor last October.
I'm not leaning to either side of this ever polarizing debate on the extent of human cause of climate change.
What I'm suggesting is that DICK Cheney should let the debate rage on with full testimonial disclosure, and not simply delete matters the administration doesn't agree with.
This whole DICK Cheney swimming upstream in the river denial is getting a bit tired, albeit entirely predictable.
06 July, 2008
Jesse Helms Is Dead
Former five term North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms died on Friday.
There certainly was no middle ground on Jesse Helms. He was a larger than life, "love him or hate him" politician that was revered by conservatives and openly despised by progressives and liberals.
Helms was given the nickname of Senator No, due to his refusal to support government funding on anything at all. He did make exceptions for tobacco companies though.
Helms' low point, while tough to pick just one, was when he refused to acknowledge the mother of Ryan White while the two of them were riding alone in a Senate building elevator together. White was the boy that died of AIDS after contracting the disease through a blood transfusion. She was in Washington that day to deliver testimony in support of an AIDS research funding bill that was named after her son.
The bill passed, however not without the vocal opposition of Jesse Helms.
Helms pontificated on the Senate Floor that he wasn't aware of one case of AIDS that hadn't been contracted by an act of sodomy.
That must have been an extremely awkward elevator ride.
Jesse Helms didn't appear to be a conservative to me. A conservative is a champion for individual liberty and freedom for our citizens.
Jesse Helms lived up to his Senator No moniker every time civil rights legislation entered Senate chambers.
Jesse Helms, by logical measure of his voting record and speech archives, was nothing more - or less - than a bigot.
God rest his soul, and good luck finding it.
There certainly was no middle ground on Jesse Helms. He was a larger than life, "love him or hate him" politician that was revered by conservatives and openly despised by progressives and liberals.
Helms was given the nickname of Senator No, due to his refusal to support government funding on anything at all. He did make exceptions for tobacco companies though.
Helms' low point, while tough to pick just one, was when he refused to acknowledge the mother of Ryan White while the two of them were riding alone in a Senate building elevator together. White was the boy that died of AIDS after contracting the disease through a blood transfusion. She was in Washington that day to deliver testimony in support of an AIDS research funding bill that was named after her son.
The bill passed, however not without the vocal opposition of Jesse Helms.
Helms pontificated on the Senate Floor that he wasn't aware of one case of AIDS that hadn't been contracted by an act of sodomy.
That must have been an extremely awkward elevator ride.
Jesse Helms didn't appear to be a conservative to me. A conservative is a champion for individual liberty and freedom for our citizens.
Jesse Helms lived up to his Senator No moniker every time civil rights legislation entered Senate chambers.
Jesse Helms, by logical measure of his voting record and speech archives, was nothing more - or less - than a bigot.
God rest his soul, and good luck finding it.
05 July, 2008
A Divine Baseball Season In Tampa Bay
There are exactly 181 stitches that hold a leather baseball intact. There are also 181 beads in a Catholic rosary.
Perennial American League doormats, the Tampa Bay Rays, are in first place midway through the baseball season and have the best record in baseball.
Until this year, they were known as the Tampa Ray Devil Rays.
Amen.
Perennial American League doormats, the Tampa Bay Rays, are in first place midway through the baseball season and have the best record in baseball.
Until this year, they were known as the Tampa Ray Devil Rays.
Amen.
04 July, 2008
Say Whatever You Want, It's Free
There are 27 amendments to the United States Constitution, however 2-27 would be vacant script without number 1.
Freedom of religion, speech, press, petition and assembly is the backbone of our our constitution. Without it, this rag I type from Rushmore would've been shut down by a government agency long ago.
I'm so very grateful to live in a country that is free to share conflicting ideas.
Happy Independence Day.
Freedom of religion, speech, press, petition and assembly is the backbone of our our constitution. Without it, this rag I type from Rushmore would've been shut down by a government agency long ago.
I'm so very grateful to live in a country that is free to share conflicting ideas.
Happy Independence Day.
03 July, 2008
Obama Won't Pound It Anymore
Barack Obama has done away with the "fist pound" gesture, after diligent Fox News anchor, E.D. Hill, outed Obama as a terrorist threat to the United States.
Apparently, the fist pound is a greeting that is common with Hezbollah terrorists so, naturally, Barack Obama's fist pound to his wife, Michelle, at a St. Paul rally last month was nothing more that Obama shoving his terrorist ties in our face.
According to recent polls taken since Fox scooped the Obama is a terrorist story, nearly half of our electorate has fallen for Obama, terrorist and all.
It's been about a month since Hill exposed Obama as a Hezbollah sympathizer, and since then I've noticed an alarming amount of terrorist activity that has infiltrated our great land.
Last night the Tampa Bay Rays defeated the Boston Red Sox to complete a three game sweep and now have a 3 1/2 game lead in the American League East. When the game ended, I noticed Ray players smiling and congratulating each other with fist pounds.
The Tampa Bay Rays are terrorists. Wolf Blitzer, prepare the Situation Room.
A few weeks ago I visited a local turboplex to see the movie, The Love Guru. To no surprise, leave it to liberal Hollywood to shove their Hezbollah, terrorist sympathizing right down our throats. In the movie, there is a running gag where Guru Pitka (Mike Myers) "pounds it" with Toronto Maple Leaf Head Coach Punch Cherkov (Internet porn sensation Verne Troyer), mocking us with his terrorist affiliation by ritually reciting, "pound it, lock it down, break the pickle, tickle, tickle, tickle".
The scripted words alone simply can't do this example justice. The accompanied theatrics intended to brainwash us into Hezbollah sympathizers is obvious.
To punctuate our domestic terrorist presence, I regret to report that my daughter appears to be a terrorist. After scoring a goal in a soccer game last season, I recall her issuing a fist pound to a teammate.
I'll ground her for a week and take away her cell phone. Family values intact.
Fox News; they distort, we decide.
Sometimes in ridiculously comical ways.
Apparently, the fist pound is a greeting that is common with Hezbollah terrorists so, naturally, Barack Obama's fist pound to his wife, Michelle, at a St. Paul rally last month was nothing more that Obama shoving his terrorist ties in our face.
According to recent polls taken since Fox scooped the Obama is a terrorist story, nearly half of our electorate has fallen for Obama, terrorist and all.
It's been about a month since Hill exposed Obama as a Hezbollah sympathizer, and since then I've noticed an alarming amount of terrorist activity that has infiltrated our great land.
Last night the Tampa Bay Rays defeated the Boston Red Sox to complete a three game sweep and now have a 3 1/2 game lead in the American League East. When the game ended, I noticed Ray players smiling and congratulating each other with fist pounds.
The Tampa Bay Rays are terrorists. Wolf Blitzer, prepare the Situation Room.
A few weeks ago I visited a local turboplex to see the movie, The Love Guru. To no surprise, leave it to liberal Hollywood to shove their Hezbollah, terrorist sympathizing right down our throats. In the movie, there is a running gag where Guru Pitka (Mike Myers) "pounds it" with Toronto Maple Leaf Head Coach Punch Cherkov (Internet porn sensation Verne Troyer), mocking us with his terrorist affiliation by ritually reciting, "pound it, lock it down, break the pickle, tickle, tickle, tickle".
The scripted words alone simply can't do this example justice. The accompanied theatrics intended to brainwash us into Hezbollah sympathizers is obvious.
To punctuate our domestic terrorist presence, I regret to report that my daughter appears to be a terrorist. After scoring a goal in a soccer game last season, I recall her issuing a fist pound to a teammate.
I'll ground her for a week and take away her cell phone. Family values intact.
Fox News; they distort, we decide.
Sometimes in ridiculously comical ways.
02 July, 2008
Hall Of Fame Legacy Sealed For Barry Bonds*
The baseball that Barry Bonds hit career home run number 756 has arrived in Cooperstown, and Bonds' steroid fueled skid mark on the game is now secured with an asterisk.
*
Clothing Designer, Mark Ecko, paid $752,467 as high bidder for the infamous ball at an auction last August. Ecko then allowed baseball fans the opportunity to choose the fate as to where the ball would ultimately end up.
As expected, the fans called it right.
*
Ecko had the ball branded with an asterisk and it was delivered to the Hall of Fame earlier this week. It will be included in a yet to be determined display.
*
Bonds has said in the past that he would boycott the Hall of Fame if they accepted the record breaking baseball with an asterisk on it.
*
We're approaching the all-star break in baseball and not one team has shown the slightest bit of interest in signing Bonds.
*
Looks like baseball is finally boycotting Bonds.
*
Now let's hope that Hall of Fame voting sportswriters boycott Bonds as well, keeping Bonds the cheating, grand jury perjurer man out of Cooperstown.
*
Clothing Designer, Mark Ecko, paid $752,467 as high bidder for the infamous ball at an auction last August. Ecko then allowed baseball fans the opportunity to choose the fate as to where the ball would ultimately end up.
As expected, the fans called it right.
*
Ecko had the ball branded with an asterisk and it was delivered to the Hall of Fame earlier this week. It will be included in a yet to be determined display.
*
Bonds has said in the past that he would boycott the Hall of Fame if they accepted the record breaking baseball with an asterisk on it.
*
We're approaching the all-star break in baseball and not one team has shown the slightest bit of interest in signing Bonds.
*
Looks like baseball is finally boycotting Bonds.
*
Now let's hope that Hall of Fame voting sportswriters boycott Bonds as well, keeping Bonds the cheating, grand jury perjurer man out of Cooperstown.
01 July, 2008
What A Doll
One of the first life lessons Mom instilled in me, when I was a wee-little Davey Jones mop-top, was that I shouldn't pass judgement on people until I had a chance to get to know them. You know, the basic "don't judge a book by its cover" rap.
But what if the cover is so hauntingly disturbing that I simply can't open the book?
America, meet Cindy McCain.
Cindy Lou Hensley McCain, aspiring First Lady of the United States of America, drug addict (recovering), absent minded bookeeper (still looking for those misplaced Charles Keating private jet receipts?) and heir to a whole lotta beer money. She now goes by simply Cindy McCain, which is probably a smart move politically. Lou Hensley sounds like the name of a guy that would sell me a purple car at night and assure me it was navy blue.
Cindy Lou who?
There is a certain Stepford creepiness about Cindy McCain. Her egregious addiction to eyeliner and heavily spackled makeup appear to render her face inanimate. Or, more likely, she just needs her batteries changed.
If you look real closely at her forehead, there very well may be an inscription that reads, manufactured using 10% post-consumer recycled plastic.
It's as if Ken and Barbie had a special child and they named her Cindy. Mattel, feel free to take that idea and run with it.
Cindy met John McCain at a military social event in 1979 in Hawaii, while McCain was visiting on a work assignment as a U.S. Navy liaison officer. McCain's wife at the time, Carol, didn't attend that event.
John McCain, war hero, patriot, political maverick and adulterous philanderer (the liberal media leaves out that last attribute), began dating Cindy shortly after their initial meeting, spawning a long distance romance between McCain's Washington D.C. home and Cindy's native Arizona.
John and Carol McCain divorced in April of 1980. One month later, John and Cindy McCain were married at the Arizona Biltmore Resort in Phoenix.
Not quite the JFK meets Jackie O type of fairy tale model that we'd like to see in our first couples, I know.
More like, John and The Real Doll. Coming to a campaign stop near you.
Now that's straight talk, folks.
But what if the cover is so hauntingly disturbing that I simply can't open the book?
America, meet Cindy McCain.
Cindy Lou Hensley McCain, aspiring First Lady of the United States of America, drug addict (recovering), absent minded bookeeper (still looking for those misplaced Charles Keating private jet receipts?) and heir to a whole lotta beer money. She now goes by simply Cindy McCain, which is probably a smart move politically. Lou Hensley sounds like the name of a guy that would sell me a purple car at night and assure me it was navy blue.
Cindy Lou who?
There is a certain Stepford creepiness about Cindy McCain. Her egregious addiction to eyeliner and heavily spackled makeup appear to render her face inanimate. Or, more likely, she just needs her batteries changed.
If you look real closely at her forehead, there very well may be an inscription that reads, manufactured using 10% post-consumer recycled plastic.
It's as if Ken and Barbie had a special child and they named her Cindy. Mattel, feel free to take that idea and run with it.
Cindy met John McCain at a military social event in 1979 in Hawaii, while McCain was visiting on a work assignment as a U.S. Navy liaison officer. McCain's wife at the time, Carol, didn't attend that event.
John McCain, war hero, patriot, political maverick and adulterous philanderer (the liberal media leaves out that last attribute), began dating Cindy shortly after their initial meeting, spawning a long distance romance between McCain's Washington D.C. home and Cindy's native Arizona.
John and Carol McCain divorced in April of 1980. One month later, John and Cindy McCain were married at the Arizona Biltmore Resort in Phoenix.
Not quite the JFK meets Jackie O type of fairy tale model that we'd like to see in our first couples, I know.
More like, John and The Real Doll. Coming to a campaign stop near you.
Now that's straight talk, folks.
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