Three More Weeks

Just twenty-one days left in the Bush era of big government spending run amok. While our current President continues his pathetic image making, "here's how history will judge me" rhetorical publicity tour, the results are in.

Hope is all many Americans have left, and change is what they cling to.

Conservative bloggers will continue to mock the idea of hope and change. Ironically, it's a rare departure from the typical Republican strategy of ignoring the message while tearing down the messenger. Where President-elect Obama is concerned, it's marginalize the message while saying that they're going to give our new President "a chance". Hogwash.

Republicans need to retool their branding in a big way. The party is broken.

Notable Quotable: I'm Too Verbose

"The writer must write what he has to say. Not speak it."

-Ernest Hemingway

A Baby Named After A Hockey Stick

High school dropout Bristol Palin, the 18-year-old daughter of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, has given birth to a baby boy.

Tripp Easton Mitchell weighs in at 7 pounds, 4 ounces, or about as heavy as a sack of hockey pucks.

The father, Levi Johnston, also a high school dropout, was a star hockey player at Wasilla High School. A sucker for nostalgia, Johnston and Palin forever saddled baby Tripp with the middle name Easton.

Easton is the brand of hockey stick that Johnston wielded at Wasilla.

Seriously.

I mean, seriously?

Yes, seriously.

My Own Private Glitter War

I'm back in the home saddle after our three day Christmas juggernaut in Flagstaff. In my nearly nightly fit of wee hour insomnia, I decided to tear through a weeks worth of mail.

Amid the mounds of bills, solicitations and a plurality of J. Crew catalogs (three days garnered three catalogs), I noticed a few tardy Christmas cards with the Fischer family name on it.

Being a sorta gimme the good news first kinda guy, I chose to open the cards first. There's something magical about an envelope that's been addressed with handwritten scribe. Orderly cursive yields bonus sentiment.

As I opened the first card, my early morning serenity took a decidedly ugly turn. The card was filled with the most egregiously excessive amount of silver glitter, which all came spilling out of the envelope and on to my lap, desk, office chair and the carpet below.

Admittedly, I reacted in an entirely immature and overly dramatic way, complete with deep sighs and under my breath cussing, careful not to wake baby Fischer. Worse yet, as I looked at the return address to identify the glitter perpetrator, I noticed that it came from the most ancillary of peripheral associates.

How is it that the parents of Mrs. Fischer's college friend has us on their mailing list? Heck, if they're sending Christmas cards to us, than there must be, like, thousands of others that received a similar glitter ambush.

Please gang, enough with the glitter.

While I Was Dreaming Of A White Christmas

Here's a picture that illustrates my white Christmas in Flagstaff. The day this was taken, an afternoon sledding adventure with the Fischer gaggle yielded waist deep drifts and more driving snow. It was awesome. Real Man Vs. Wild type of elements.

Hard to believe that rounds of golf were being played just ninety minutes south in Scottsdale.

Retail Takes A Christmas Drubbing

The numbers are in and it looks ugly for retail. The holiday spending rake this year was a steep 8% decline from last season.

That's a ton of Chinese manufactured goods that is collecting dust on shelves. Let's now brace ourselves as the worldwide recession finally hits China.

Under any sane model of Capitalism, this retail slump would be nothing but a hiccup. However, since our economy is predicated solely (pretty much) on consumption, this is downright crippling.

Maybe we can now work to get back to the business of exporting technology, tangible products and consumer services again.

Merry Christmas

The Fischer family is hunkered down in Flagstaff, where an active blizzard is adding to the nearly 40-inches of fresh snowfall during the past week. It's beautiful.

I watched a few minutes of It's A Wonderful Life late last night. I'm a sucker for its sentiment, although I had to laugh a bit during the part of George Bailey's gratitude laced, hollering at the wind diatribe while running down Main Street of Bedford Falls. He staggers through the snow, greeting a series of inanimate objects before barfing a dramatic, "Merry Christmas, you old Building and Loan".

This year, not even George Bailey could bring it upon himself to wish the bank a Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Daily Irony; White House Christmas Message

President Bush issued his annual Christmas greeting yesterday.

---------------------------------------------------------------

THE WHITE HOUSE

Office of the Press Secretary
For Immediate Release December 23, 2008
Christmas 2008

"'I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Luke 2:10-12

"Each year, Christmas brings together families, friends, and communities to rejoice in the birth of Jesus Christ and celebrate the wonderful gifts God has bestowed upon us. During this season, we remember Jesus' birth from the Virgin Mary, His justice and mercy that changed the world, and His ultimate sacrifice for all people. Though Jesus was born humbly in a manger, He was destined to be the Savior of the world. The light He brought into the world continues to break through darkness and change people's lives two thousand years later."

---------------------------------------------------------------

For a guy that knows so much about Jesus and is so well versed in scripture, he sure has made some suspect moves as President, contrary to doing what Jesus would do. Maybe this is why the President acknowledged during a Fox News interview a few days ago that he "...didn't compromise his soul to be a popular guy".

Based on approval ratings, the President his highly unpopular.

Even to Jesus.

Franken Maintains Slim Lead In Minnesota

If there are any voters that continue to question whether their vote can actually make a difference, look no farther than the US Senate recount in Minnesota for the answer.

Democrat Al Franken holds a 46 vote lead over incumbent Republican Norm Coleman. The recount is finished and the state elections canvassing board have reviewed challenged ballots by both sides. All that remains is the courts to rule on a few thousand rejected absentee ballots to determine if they'll be tallied.

Over 3-million votes were cast in Minnesota for this race. And it all comes down to 46 votes.

46 votes!

This one is a long way from over though. Both camps are adequately lawyer'd up and at the ready to challenge an unpleasant outcome in the courts. Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty may be summoned to appoint an interim US Senator if this mess isn't cleaned up anytime soon.

An ironic pick would be Dean Barkley. Barkley is the Independent candidate that finished third in the senate election to Franken and Coleman. He's also a former United States Senator, serving a six week term, by appointment of former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura, following the death of Minnesota US Senator Paul Wellstone in 2002.

Still Life Life With Recession

I was at the Biltmore earlier today to finish up my Christmas shopping, a few final tidings of yuletide detail that would finally put a lid on the magical season of spending.

While at Banana Republic, I noticed an absolute mac-daddy pair of black penny loafers that were originally priced at $139.95, on sale for $39.95. Seeing as these were a bit more of a want than a need - after all, I had shoes on my feet at the time - I decided to, for the first time in my life, barter for an item at a retail store.

With very little effort, I negotiated a purchase price of $20.00 for the shoes.

Then paralysis by analysis kicked in and I thought of the Christmas budget, sacrificing impulse buys and curbing discretionary spending.

I set the shoes on the counter and left the store.

While walking away, it occurred to me that this experience is only one small metaphor in the state of our economy.

The shoes? No regrets.

I think they were made in China.

Douchebag Of The Year Award For 2008

In a heady field of contenders, Sean Hanninsanity has emerged as the inaugural winner of the Musings Douchebag of the Year award.

Hanninsanity won for his perfect storm of fabrications, conjecture, hyperbole and dramatic use of the question mark, all in a desperate chase of the rigid and broken conservative agenda of the values crowd.

In the end, Hanninsanity was really only yelling at himself (and Alan Colmes, a finalist for Pussy of the Year), as Democrats swept the electorate in dramatic measure.

An End To The War On Science

President-elect Obama announced his science and technology team today, while managing to take a less than subtle, passive-aggressive jab at President Bush.

During his weekly YouTube video address, Obama introduced Harvard University environmentalist John P. Holdren as Science Advisor to the office of the President.

Obama pledged to ensure that “facts and evidence are never (again) twisted or obscured by politics or ideology.”

It's nice to again have a President that believes in the possibility that the earth is more than 2008 years old, or that dinosaurs weren't just horses that Jesus rode on.

Quite honestly, I hadn't heard of Holdren before todays announcement. My guess is, however, that his science and technological input regarding energy policy will far transcend "drill baby drill".

This quiet and seemingly innocuous announcement sends a broader message.

And I like it.

Bush Finally Right About Something

President Bush was recently interviewed by Fox News, a cushy venue that offered a comfortable pulpit to wax introspection and varying truthiness.

The President was complicit.

"I didn't compromise my soul to be a popular guy."

How very true. He did compromise his soul and he's not a popular guy (27% approval), cruising nearly alone on a slowly sinking ship.

Mission accomplished.

Obama Chooses Reverend Warren

Gay leaders are acting all diva on President-elect Obama over his choice of Reverend Rick Warren to preside over his invocation at the upcoming Presidential inauguration.

Warren is Senior Pastor at Saddleback Church in Southern California, which is somewhat ironic because isn't saddleback a term used to call a certain gay sexual position? If it is, it comes with absolutely no solace for the President of Human Rights Campaign, Joe Solomonese.

In a terse letter fired off to Obama, Solomonese stated that, "your invitation to Reverend Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at your inauguration is a genuine blow to LGBT Americans. We feel a deep level of disrespect when one of architects and promoters of an anti-gay agenda is given the prominence and the pulpit of your historic nomination.”

Warren opposes abortion rights, however has taken more liberal stances on the government role in fighting poverty, and backed away from other evangelicals’ staunch support for economic conservatism. It’s his support for the California constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, however, that drew the most heated criticism from far left Democrats Wednesday.

My suggestion remains that we, as a constitutionally secular nation, get out of the government sanctioned marriage business altogether, and allow any two people to enter into a civil union. The newly unified couple would then have an option to have their civil union be blessed as a marriage in the church of their choosing.

Marriage is a religious privilege that's granted by a church body.

Civil Unions are just plain simple civil rights.

Blago Still In Charge

The Illinois Supreme Court doesn't want to hear about any expedited plans to remove Governor Rod from office. This is an ominous roadblock to any swift impeachment plans for the Illinois state house.

This is all so commonplace for Illinois though. While they shrug it off, the rest of us are up in arms.

We are (up in arms, that is), aren't we?

A Most Ironic Name

I can't think of a better name for a guy that could conjure such an elaborate ruse that bilked 50-billion-dollars from trusting investors, complete with an SEC stamp of approval.

Well done, Bernie Madoff. Pronounced MADE-off.

Of course it is.

It's Just Musings

I've been receiving considerable grief lately for my "delayed" blog posts. Look, gang, I'm just a guy that jots a few thoughts here and there, and somewhere in this process I set some sort of high expectation that I'm an actual journalist that works on a deadline.

A journalist? That hurts.

I'm better than that.

There's a literal meaning in my blog title. This is just musings, really. Random glimmers of conscienceless I write to purge my dome in order to make room for other thoughts.

I'll catch up. I promise.

The Answer Is D: Because It Is A Perfect Film

There is a gritty underbelly of early 1990's Bombay that leaps off the screen in vividly raw clarity in the best movie - by far - I've seen in several years, Slumdog Millionaire.

Buckle up and hold on for a cleverly suspenseful linear narrative that will take you from a cozy game show viewing couch to running from organized crime thugs, all in the name of chasing our own destiny in a valiant search and conquer of true love.

It's movies like this that make me weep for the big studio malaise Hollywood currently endures.

Bravo, Slumdog.

Get A Chin Strap For That Lid

With hair like this, members of PETA may stage their own protest.

Is this Governor Rod or Fonzie's head shot?

North Dakota Politics

Well it turns out that Illinois has some work to do before it can carry the torch as the most politically corrupt state in the union. That dubious distinction goes to North Dakota.

Oh-yah-you-betcha, North Dakota.

A USA Today research study shows that, per capita, North Dakota seethes corruption at the highest level in the land.

Don Morrison, executive director of the non-partisan North Dakota Center for the Public Good, said it may be that North Dakotans are better at rooting out corruption when it occurs.

"Being a sparsely populated state, people know each other," he said with an entirely stright face. "We know our elected officials and so certainly to do what the governor of Illinois did is much more difficult here."

Now that's a smooth political response.

All for the public good, of course.

All The News Fit To Amuse

I love the Onion. I don't even read the articles though, since I get my simple laugh-out-louds from the headlines that are spoon fed to my homepage. Here's a few of my recent favorites.

• Shitload Of Math Due On Monday
• Lie To Cover Surprise Party Sounds More Fun Than The Surprise Party
• Cranberry Juice Industry Hoping 2009 A Big Year Of Urinary Tract Infections

And of course, any Onion headline that begins with Area Man... is funny as hell and usually comes with an ample dose of clever irony.

My all time favorite Onion headline was delivered at the height of the Iraq war.

Donald Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit To Wife's Vagina.

Only to find that Dick Cheney got there first.

Illinois Political Malaise

The only aspect of the sordid political charade in Illinois more disturbing than the Governor himself is the absolute cavalier response from the public.

In nearly every cable news "man on the street" interview yesterday, Illinoisans sang a common refrain.

"Oh no, I'm not surprised".

And why should they be surprised? It's become a near right of passage for a sitting Illinois Governor to become swept in scandal. Governor Rod is now the third Governor of the past five in Illinois to face a plurality of felony charges.

This entire episode does indeed reflect poorly on President-elect Obama. No matter the painstakingly copious measures his administration takes to prove otherwise, the unfortunate rule of life is that perception is reality. How sad, for the fact remains that Barack Obama has never, ever been even remotely accused of any crime, much to the chagrin of his detractors.

Illinois is broken.

Forget the car czar, we need federal oversight on the state of Illinois.

One Fugly Governor

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is going the extra mile to remind us that the term corrupt politician is far too often redundant.

Click the headline to this post and read the entire 76-page indictment against the Governor. Pretty unsavory, to say the least.

It's such an alarming paradox that the political arena spawns; I wonder if the world of politics simply attracts unethical people, or if honest and ethical people fall victim to corruption once engulfed in the business of politics.

Either way, the pilfering of the public trust continues in Illinois and cynicism gnaws deeper than ever.

Dial A Cliche - On The Phone With My Boss

I spent nearly an hour makin' out with my bluetooth this morning while discussing business strategy with my boss, Big D. It's an entirely grueling endeavor whenever I talk to him, due to my long ago realization that, without the heady use of business world cliches, the man would be at a complete loss for words.

Big D is a little like Ron Burgundy, only dumber. I swear that he has a teleprompter loaded with cliches that he reads during our bi-weekly updates. It's more than a little evident that the guy is clueless, so he uses a masterful array of cliches to appear knowledgeable, when in fact he's hiding behind the facade of an uninspiring manager.

His favorite cliche is to end every lame point with, "but at the end of the day". In fact, he blew out his "but at the end of the day" quota with about five months left in the year. I propose we give him an award for this at the upcoming holiday party.

This morning he was in a particularly focused cliche zone.

"Look, we need to think outside of the box in this current paradigm shift we're seeing in order to win the business of the low hanging fruit. Let's use the 80/20 rule to identify potential partners that best fit our value proposition in order to create a win-win situation for us and the customer. We need to be aggressive and push the envelope by maximizing leverage through our core strengths because at the end of the day we need to show the client that we're the best in breed that can perform as a change agent that brings value-add to the table. So let's hit the ground running and provide a scalable solution that takes it to the next level in todays highly competitive market place."

As you can clearly ascertain, Big D is a master of saying everything and nothing, all at the same time.

At the end of the day though, I do know one thing.

It's just the end of the day.

And thank God for that.

Notable Quotable; FDR And Our Day Of Infamy

Today is the sixty-seventh anniversary of the Japanese attacks on Pearl Harbor, an act of foreign aggression that catapulted the United States into WWII.

The day after the attacks, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt appealed to Congress for authorization to declare war against Japan. His words resonate today;

"...No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again. Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger. With confidence in our armed forces -- with the unbounded determination of our people -- we will gain the inevitable triumph -- so help us God. I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December seventh, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire."

Vanilla Grammy's Announced

Year in and year out the Grammy's are simply a bore. The 2008 nominations were announced the other day and Grammy voters are once again serving up tired bubble gum pop and homogeneous hip-hop.

Lil' Wayne scored eight nominations, while Ne-Yo, Jay-Z and Kayne West took six each, which, for the Grammy's, is about as risky as a soy milk latte.

In a world that houses tons of really cool music that is more accessible than ever through iTunes, YouTube and social networking sights, it blows me away that the Grammy's continue to be so damn hum-drum.

One silver lining is Coldplay scooped seven nominations for a near perfectly produced Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends. it was one of my favorite one-to-last-track offerings of 2008.

One glaring you gotta be kidding me Grammy snub went to Ben Folds and Regina Spector. Their collaborative You Don't Know Me was passed over in the category of Best Pop Collaboration, in favor of the Chris Brown and Jordin Sparks ballad, No Air. Brutal.

Nice to see that the Grammy's found a way not to nominate Aerosmith for anything. Those dinosaurs haven't uttered a fresh note in eons, however every year they seem to be nominated for something.

They'll probably be there though, accepting some sort of lifetime underachievement award.

Guilty Pleasure

It's first down and a long nine to go for O.J. Simpson.

The Juice will spend a minimum incarceration of nine years, as punishment for his audaciously haphazard gangsta sting operation last year in Las Vegas. He could spend a maximum full sentence of 33-years in prison.

Before his sentencing, Simpson droned the court with a muttering and fragmented emotional apology, while choking back intermittent tears along the way.

It was awesome.

District Court judge Jackie Glass was unmoved, however, and threw the long overdue book at Simpson.

Angels are singing.

My Beard At One Week

I'm going absolutely insane. I can't stop scratching my neck, just to the right of my Adam's apple (my right), because it itches so damn bad. It's now been a week since my last shave and I'm beginning to appear downright dreadful on the way towards my Christmas beard.

McQ (my 14-year-old daughter) responded in sheer horror when she discovered my plan last week. To no surprise, with a potential beard I managed to find a way to be an even bigger embarrassment to her. For this, I take immense - albeit a bit guilty - pride.

Baby Fischer is approaching eleven months now and he's ripe for his first Christmas. I figured the beard would offer an auspicious sort of Chris Kringle flare to his first yuletide.

It looks as though I'll just end up resembling the redheaded bearded guy from that early 90's show, ThirtySomething.

Ugh.

Come to think of it, a formidable Charles Manson looking beard might come in handy. After all, McQ will be dating sooner than later. The look might come in handy.

Georgia Senate Race

Nobody worth their political soothsaying salt could have honestly thought that a Georgian Republican named Saxby Chambliss would actually lose this election.

Saxby just sounds like a name that comes neatly wrapped in a confederate flag that's been dipped in righteous indignation.

Having Chambliss remain in the Senate could be a blessing for Democrats. Saxby will continue to do his best to pander to the shout-out-louds on the evangelical right. The compromising of individual liberties for the sake of the ever subjective values rants on the right have been the wooden leg of the watered down Republican brand for quite some time, or at least since 1994.

Which all started with another Georgian named Newt.

Merry Chrismukkah From The White House

You know, in a sad and ironic way I'm going to miss President Bush. The man has a gift of gaffe that makes Joe Biden look rhetorically poised.

The White House mailed invitations to American Jewish Leaders for an upcoming Hanukkah celebration with the President and First Lady, requesting "the pleasure of your company at a Hanukkah reception".

Sweet sentiments, indeed. The issue here, however, is the picture on the front of the card.

It was a Christmas card, complete with an image of a Clydesdale horse-drawn cart carrying a Christmas tree, and a Christmas wreath-adorned White House in the background.

I wonder if Santa Claus will appear at the party to light the Menorah and serve up fried latkes.

Oye vey.

Of Dietary Regret

Normally I'm a pretty healthy eater and consider myself someone that is in tune with keeping fit. The past few days, however, I've succumb to Thanksgiving leftovers and have been binging like a teenage meth whore. The weirdest thing is that these hunger pangs and sweet toothed cravings arrive during the middle of the night.

I think I'm a sleep eater.

Take last night, for example. Between the wee hours of 1:00 and 3:30 I managed to consume one piece of cheesecake, one slice of pumpkin pie (with whip cream), two sugar cookies, three chocolate truffles and an English muffin topped with butter and honey (not a leftover, lest you think English muffins are on the Fischer turkey day menu).

Ugh.

If I keep up this pace of dietary indiscretions, I'll be having another muffin. A huge muffin top, that is.

On my waist.