Then along came 24-hour Cable News, and with it an entire profession has been dragged through the gutter.
I suppose I can accept that an urgent, "news bulletin" isn't reserved exclusively to report on events such as an assassination of a world leader, as it did when I was a kid. These days we're probably more likely to see the words "news bulletin" in a scrawl crawl at the bottom of the screen reporting that Lindsey Lohan has entered rehab. Ten minutes later the news helicopter will hover over Malibu hoping for glimpse and an entire evenings news coverage has been set.
The real issue I take with cable news is their egregious abuse of the question mark, one keystroke of punctuation placed at the end of a headline, intended to either plant a seed of doubt or deliver an overt slant towards ridiculously stated truthiness.
There is ample evidence that Fox News started this question mark epidemic several years ago (insert Neil Cavuto here), however CNN, MSNBC and similar ilk have all followed suit.
As an example, Fox News has delivered these headlines during the past few years;
- LIBERAL MEDIA HELPING TO FUEL TERROR?
- DEMOCRATS FORGOTTEN THE LESSONS OF 9/11?
- MEDIA PREACHING HATE IN THE MIDEAST?
Lose the question marks and let's see what we have;
- LIBERAL MEDIA HELPING TO FUEL TERROR
- DEMOCRATS FORGOTTEN THE LESSONS OF 9/11
- MEDIA PREACHING HATE IN THE MIDEAST
Ugh.
No question mark and you have lazy journalism and slander. Give it a question mark and, hey, we were just posing a question, right?
You see, I realize it wouldn't be ethical or honest for me to type this slanderous headline;
- BILL O'REILLY HAS IMAGES OF CHILD PORN ON HIS PERSONAL COMPUTER
However, if I were to add a question mark, it would then be legitimate news discussion;
- BILL O'REILLY HAS IMAGES OF CHILD PORN ON HIS PERSONAL COMPUTER?
Good grief.
Tim Russert, you are sadly missed.
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3 comments:
Hilarious! You are so right about how stupid news is.
Why the news sucks?
The Pew Research Center for the People and the Press published some findings recently on what Americans in the know watch. Come to find out, People who watch the Daily Show were more up on current events than those who watched Fox News. Why? Because Fox News is about as much news as Grape Nuts are actual nuts. Shows like Hannity and Combs, Hannity's American, Hannity's Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly (their so balanced they failed to give any Democrat pundits a show of their own)are not news. It's editorial. They read you the "news" and then how to feel about it. They had so much respect for Karl Rove for snowballing the public that they gave the "Turd Blossom (Bush's nick name for his advisor)practically his own show when he resigned. I was a Journalism major for about half and hour and I can see the holes in this model. The fact is that the news has become so immaterial that satire is the only way to watch events so that the sour taste of actual reality can go down easier. "News" is not Brittany, dfloods, or making sure to say Barack's middle name every time he's mentioned. Investigating the fall of the once mighty dollar. That's news. The fact that obesity is going to pass smoking as the number one cause of preventable death is news (that's right, food is now worse for you than smoking, where's the "truth" commercial for that?) The fact that a Democratic Republic has elected a president and a congress that the public disapproves of. That's news. Let's see if we get it. Obama's pastor...not news. The fact that a religious group that has dominated politics for the past 8 years thinks "God Damn America" is worse than when their pastor says "Gays Burn in Hell because God hates them"...that's news. "Obama wants your money to pay for low income gay monkey abortions"...not news. Obama plans to cut taxes for the middle class while McCain wants to keep the Bush tax cuts to those who make a mill or more permanant...that's news. Why? Because news is useful information, not sensationalism or editorial. Maybe the old newsmen smoked because they didn't want to see the day their hallowed trade was given over to actors who went to the John Tesh School of Journalism. Then again, with no child left behind, maybe Brittany's bald head and stories like "is Genesis science" is all the news the people can handle without purchasing a globe.
I'm Ron Burgundy?
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